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Key to healthy relationships

Key to healthy relationships-Trust the trust

These days, deteriorated relations trouble me a lot. It does not mean that all of my relationships are on the verge of deterioration. But, what I see around, pains me. What I see around, is a completely darkened world of relationships. There are people who find happiness in their relationships. But, for the most of the times, relationships bring sorrow.

One point to note is that, everyone is wondering why his relations are being spoiled. Everyone wants a happy relationship. People are ready to compromise a lot to get such happy and sustained relationship. Apart from all, most of the people are far away from such type of relations.

Many a times, people ask, why is it so. They are not in a position to find out what is going wrong. In spite of all the compromises, mutual understanding, relationship is prone to break up. No one is happy in above stated deteriorated relationship. Every one wants a joyous relationship. Then why, almost all of us are aware from such type relationship?

Here, we will be having a look at the basic blocks for healthy relationship. The first block is, trust. Trust has power to build up greatest and closest relations  in the world. At the same time, lack of trust can break closest relations ever. If we see around today, what we find is, all our relationships lack trust. Trust is missing. Trust is the thread which joins all the pearls in the garland of relationship. If trust is missing, relationship reduces to phony closeness. Such closeness can give depression, frustration and nothing else.

First step to healthy relationship is trust. It is very difficult to keep your trust in someone. Human nature is full of doubts. To keep absolute trust is very difficult; as if you are asking a monkey to meditate. But, there is no alternate way. The way of good relationship always begins at the doorsteps of trust. Almost all the relationship problems which we face today, arise out of doubt. Trust kills all the doubts.

If you really want to have a good relationship, learn to trust someone. Learn to trust absolutely. Trust is like alum. Alum settles down all the mud in water. Trust also settles down all the unnecessary doubts, quarrels. To trust someone is an art. You will have to transform yourself if you have to trust someone. One point to note is that, all the keys to healthy relationships are nothing but ways to transform yourself. It is not other but you who needs to change.

By Mandar Karanjkar

Mandar Karanjkar is author, motivational speaker and consultant based in Pune. Mandar works with handful of organizations helping them with strategy, communication and culture. Mandar is trained in Indian Classical Music over a decade. He is a classical singer and flute player.

Mandar has written columns for many reputed newspapers. Engineer by profession, he conducts workshops and delivers talks on subjects as wide as strategy, innovation, online marketing, spirituality, Kabir, Zen etc.

Mandar is a published author.

7 replies on “Key to healthy relationships-Trust the trust”

This is a surprising article, many points actually contradict each-other. Moreover, it has a face of being fundamental which is hardly its nature.

There’s a conspicuous usage of pessimistic assumptions such as ‘all relationships’, ‘everyone of us’ etc which is disturbing.

Secondly, it would be great to read about ‘why’ than ‘how’ if in this style.
‘Why does one need relationships’, ‘what are relationships’, ‘what are needs’, ‘why are the needs present’ … there’s so much to explore!

Dear Shrikant,
I will answer you point by point.
The first point you say is, points contradict each other. Yes, they do. And it is aim of this article to put contradictory statements ahead. If you would have pointed out contradictions, i would have explained why you find them contradictory. This is not a normal article which you just read and forget. These contradictions will make you think and will transform the reader.
Second point, The assumptions you find pessimistic; I find them realistic. I can dare to say that all our relationships are screwed up. If you do not find so, it means you are not in deep relationships. Whenever you dive deeper in a relationship, you will find problems. You might be having many relationships where you do not have any problem. It simply means that the relationship is not close one, intimate one.
And your third point. I think you should rather yourself start a nice blog to write on these things. And you know, I have been writing on these topics also. You say, I should write why we need relationships. If I tell you the truth behind all worldly relationships, you will call me a super pessimistic.
We need to work on all the fronts. I am doing so. Till now I have been writing on all the topics you mentioned; in just a different form. But, someone should work on this front also. We cannot do changes in a step. We will have to do them in a flow.

I guess I expected a comprehensive theory which’s hardly possible…

Agree to the most of your reply except:

You’re saying that if there’s no ‘problem’ – it is not deep/close
Converse: If it is close- there MUST be a problem
Negation: If there’s a problem- it is deep/close
– I guess comments will not resolve this debate. Also, ‘relationship’ is a tricky word and not defined here. That being said, I am being idealistic – as I believe ‘a debate can be resolved’.

About being pessimistic, realistic and discussing the questions:
Mostly, you sound pessimistic because you didn’t open up every aspect. The whole picture will look realistic than pessimistic.
Again, I’m expecting the exhaustive theory.. neway

Dear Shrikant,
These cheap rules of logic of negations and converse do not apply to human relationships. Relationship is not logical, it is sentimental.
Second think, I am not a pessimistic. I may appear so because it is not possible for me to open up every minute aspect hear. I will have to write a book to do so 🙂

great saying….i liked these lines very much:Trust is like alum. Alum settles down all the mud in water. Trust also settles down all the unnecessary doubts, quarrels
These cheap rules of logic of negations and converse do not apply to human relationships. Relationship is not logical, it is sentimental.

… and mandar,I TRUST YOU…

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