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Dohe of Kabir 1

Kabir Doha on Relationship: Kabir Khada Bazaar Mein

कबीर खडा बझार में, मांगे सबकी खैर

ना काहु से दोस्ती, ना काहु से बैर

Kabir says: “I stand in a market place and I desire the welfare of all.
I am neither looking for any friendship, nor am I an enemy to any one.”

I am sure this is the right time to share this doha of Kabir on relationship and networking with you all. The insight which Kabir shares from this Doha, is absolutely valid even today and will certainly remain so. This Doha of Kabir is certainly most relevant when it comes to networking.

Today’s world moves around relationships. Everyone tries to connect with more and more people. Everyone is ‘networking’ for a ‘mutually beneficial’ relationship. We have hundreds of social networks at our disposal to do it. We are active there; posting updates and waiting for others to like or retweet these updates. Then we have some more serious stuff like LinkedIn and Meetups. The utterly big number of social networks highlights the human instinct to connect with others.

But honestly, we are all using social networks for our own benefits- you to share some pictures which tell how different you are from others, pictures which tell how you are more successful or happier than others etc. and maybe I to promote my blog and capture more readers. Most of the times, we connect out of our psychological need or some selfish motive. Hardly someone becomes a Seth Godin and writes purely for others to learn something from it.
Kabir, through this Doha on relationships, is touching upon this fallacy. See how wonderfully Kabir has described today’s situation. He says,

Kabir Khada Bazar Me
(Kabir is standing in a marketplace)

True, we are also standing in marketplace, in a Bazaar where everyone has come to get more in less money. The fact about market place is, most competitive ones become the most famous ones and make more money. Social networks or all our relationships for that matter are like marketplace where everyone wants more publicity, more likes and ultimately more fame and money. So, it might be digital in nature but we are also standing in the same market place about which Kabir is talking. But, these is a big difference between the ways we stand. This difference is made clear in the second half of the first line.

The difference is, Kabir is in marketplace for everyone’s welfare.
Kabir was a weaver by profession. He used to weave and sell fabric in the market. He could have easily wished for selling more fabric than his competitors; he instead wished for everyone’s welfare. It is this tendency that makes the difference. This is what makes Kabir different from us. If we sit down honestly and open up the boxes of our relationships, what are they filled with? It’s all about taking. We like someone because he makes us laugh, someone other because we become more knowledgeable, someone other because he makes us feel safe or protected and this goes on. There might be some relationships where we give; but we give for some subtle gain- the subtle satisfaction which our ego gets.

Kabir is not interested in all this, he is just concerned with welfare of others. The next line-
Na kaahu se dosti, naa kaahu se bair

Though Kabir is for everyone’s welfare, he is not interested in any kind of friendship with anyone, nor does he want to make an enemy with anyone. To put it simply, he is talking about a relationship which is beyond friendship and enmity. I guess almost every one of us might have been through the ‘best friend’ ships. Most of the times, these relationships fail. Why is it so? The relationships fail because they are built to take something from the other. Kabir is no more interested in give and take. He is no more bothered about the relationships- where people come together to give and take.

Kabir is talking about the attitude which brings about the change. The activities which are done without any kind of expectations bring about phenomenal change. Take example of Baba Amte, the Magsaysay Award winner. He started without without any expectation, not at all bothered about fame, publicity and money.

We need change makers who will work without any selfish motive; Kabir is certainly a lighthouse!

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By Mandar Karanjkar

Mandar Karanjkar is author, motivational speaker and consultant based in Pune. Mandar works with handful of organizations helping them with strategy, communication and culture. Mandar is trained in Indian Classical Music over a decade. He is a classical singer and flute player.

Mandar has written columns for many reputed newspapers. Engineer by profession, he conducts workshops and delivers talks on subjects as wide as strategy, innovation, online marketing, spirituality, Kabir, Zen etc.

Mandar is a published author.

4 replies on “Kabir Doha on Relationship: Kabir Khada Bazaar Mein”

I am very amazed after reading this article . Because yesterday I was thinking about you that you should write an article in which you should mention the name of any member of amte family to correlate the message of your article so that people will come to know about amte families work. The main thing is that at the end of this article you have really mentioned the name of Baba Amte ( I admired him very much). I am very surprised that you have fulfilled my wish.

Thank you,

Thanks Krushna for sharing this.
I have also experienced similar things with many others. It also happens with Osho. If you have some honest question, open any page of any of his books and you will get the answer!

I am looking for a Kabir quote on relationship – Is tanke bahut hai malik, Maa kahe yeh putra hamara swarth jaan pitha kiya hai pala, kamini kahe more priy aaye baadhinjaisi use chabane aaye…
Can’t find anywhere. Can you shed some light on the full quote and meaning?

Thanks

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