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Key to healthy relationships

Freedom : Key to healthy relationships (2)

The first article in this series, key to healthy relationships talks about trust. It is very difficult to trust someone and at the same time to do justice to trust kept on oneself by somebody else. Trusting someone is really difficult but giving someone freedom is even more difficult. The irony is, everyone wants his own freedom but very few are courageous enough to give others freedom they need.

Healthy relationships- How does freedom matter?

Many philosophers have many time said that if you love someone, freedom is the best gift which you can give him or her. As my opinion goes, we are no one to ‘give’ someone freedom. Everyone is entitled to it. So, first thing to understand is, if you are allowing someone to enjoy his or her freedom, you are actually doing nothing great but just your job.

In a relationship, persons come together; but still, they are different individuals. Though two persons in a relationship are together and they love each other, they still are two different and unique human beings- each one of them having his or her own desires and way of life. Hence, giving other person his space and is very important.

I have seen relationships of a few of my friends getting spoilt because of not giving their partners the freedom.  The term freedom applies at all levels. Many of us do a great job when it comes to freedom at larger levels- like allowing someone to pursue a career he or she likes but freedom to do small things as per one’s will is also equally important.

Is it too difficult to allow someone to enjoy his freedom? The answer is both yes and no. If you trust someone, giving him or her freedom is much easier. Hence, trust still remains the foremost parameter (I don’t think trust has anything to do with fidelity).  Many times, in order to let others enjoy their freedom, you need to be independent. It is equally important that you do not have any kind of insecurity. Dependent and insecure people find it very difficult to give other their freedom.

Another thing worth considering is, when yo love someone, you are not owner of that person. Many lovers around feel that they have ‘bought’ the person they love. Love has nothing to do with authority and commanding. True love always gives other the space and freedom.

Your lover should have freedom to say no to you. It is very difficult to accept a ‘no’ from the person you love. It also hurts the ego. As a result, many persons take away this basic right of saying no. If you really lover someone, you should be first to tell him or her that you have complete freedom tell me a ‘no’ and follow your own decision

Have you ever given it a thought? Would you enjoy a relationship which does not assure you freedom? I guess, now you realize the importance of freedom..

 

By Mandar Karanjkar

Mandar Karanjkar is author, motivational speaker and consultant based in Pune. Mandar works with handful of organizations helping them with strategy, communication and culture. Mandar is trained in Indian Classical Music over a decade. He is a classical singer and flute player.

Mandar has written columns for many reputed newspapers. Engineer by profession, he conducts workshops and delivers talks on subjects as wide as strategy, innovation, online marketing, spirituality, Kabir, Zen etc.

Mandar is a published author.

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